Hey everyone! Today's post is a little more serious than usual.
I've mentioned my eating disorder a couple of times, but never really talked about it. I'm still fighting it right now, and there are definitely times when I just sit down and cry over anything. I'm a perfectionist by nature, and I also have always had a low self esteem. I originally wanted to lose like 10 lbs when I started exercising and changed my diet. But, losing weight was something that I felt I had control over, and something that I felt that I could do. Whenever I was having a bad day, I would think to myself: "I may not be able to control whatever is making me upset, but I can control what I eat." It got to the point where I was eating around 800 calories a day, but was in denial about the whole thing. I looked gaunt, and weighed about 96 lbs. I had no energy to be a good daughter, sister, or friend. I know that by myself, I wouldn't have made the decision to fight my disordered eating. It was God, working through my family and friends, especially my mother, who showed me that what I was doing was wrong. As of right now, I cannot say that I am completely healed. I am definitely better, but I still have a long way to go. This holiday season, I want to give thanks for the family and friends who have always been there for me.
Here's an awesome video of one of my favorite bands:
Well, sorry for the super serious post, but this is something that I felt I should talk about.
Have a wonderful day!!!!
I think it is very brave of you to discuss this, and I hope your recovery goes well - it can be a long road with frustrating steps backwards. I hope you have a good support team of professionals (therapist, nutritionist, etc.) to help you.
ReplyDeletethanks for commenting! it is definitely an everyday battle, but fortunately my family, friends, and therapist are absolutely amazing!
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